The Sam Gets A Job series!
by llllick
Summary: Follow Sam as she goes through crazy adventures at her new jobs.
1. Supermarket

Sam gets a job series.

1-Supermarket.

Sam's manager told her, "The prices of milk went up to 2.34, remember that."

Sam stood behind the counter, bored as hell. "Yeah...whatever."

Spencer played a couple strings on his banjo. Sam looked at him. "I don't get why Carly sent you here to watch after me."

"I'm here to make sure you don't do anything illegal," Spencer replied.

"That's just retarded," Sam said as a woman approached her. "I'm mature enough to handle a job."

The woman smiled at Sam, "Hi. Can you get those boys away from the front of the store? They're bothering me."

"Them?" Sam asked, pointing to a group of boys in hoodies rolling down the aisles in trash cans.

"Yes," the woman replied.

"Why?" Sam questioned. "They aren't hurting anyone."

"Well, the noise is bothering me!" the woman yelled.

"Too bad," Sam said.

"I don't like your attitude!" the woman complained. "Now get those boys out of this store or I will write you up!"

Sam scoffed, "You aren't the boss of me-!" Spencer cleared his throat. Sam rolled her eyes and said, "Fine."

She walked up to the group of boys and banged on the trash cans. "YO! OUTTA HERE!"

The group crawled out, "No!"

Sam pulled a mini water gun she had filled up with ice cold water out, "Get out! I'm gonna lose this job!"

"You think you can get us out of here with THAT?" one of the boys asked.

Sam pulled down all of there hoodies and sprayed the water down their shirts. Most of the boys left out girlish shrieks and others ran out the door. She went back to her station at the register.

"Are you happy now?" she asked the woman.

The lady had her mouth wide open, "You just assaulted those young men! I'm writing you up!"

"JUST SHUT UP!" Sam yelled.

The woman put a gallon of milk, "I'd like to buy this."

Sam thought of spitting in it, but that's just get her written up twice. She swiped the gallon and said, "2 dollars and 34 cents is your price."

The woman froze. "Two dollars...and THIRTY FOUR cents?!"

"Yeah," Sam replied.

"Last time I was here it was 2 dollars and thirty three cents!"

"Look lady," Sam said. "It's just one cent."

"NO!" she screamed. "I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU TRYING TO RIP ME OFF! I WANT THE LOWER PRICE! I WANT IT!"

"YOU WANT THE PENNY SO BAD?!" Sam screamed back.

"YES!!"

Sam open the register and took out a penny. She then taped it to Spencer's banjo and swiped it out of his hands.

"Sam!" Spencer yelled, but it was too late.

Sam got up on the counter and started thrashing the guitar around the lady. "HERE'S YOUR STUPID PENNY!!"

She screamed and ran out of the store. Sam quickly picked up two handfuls of pennies and pelted them at her.

"HERE'S YOUR PENNIES!!"

The lady screamed and drove off.

Sam's manger tapped Sam on her shoulder, "Ahem."

Sam turned around on her heel and saw him. "I'm fired aren't I...?"


	2. Music store clerk

Sam gets a job series

2-Music store

A woman came to the counter, towing her 13-year-old-looking boy behind her. She handed Sam a Jonas Brothers CD.

SAm looked at the case, "Ma'am I can't sell you this."

The woman looked appalled. She looked like Sam had just flashed her. "WHAT?! WHY NOT?!"

Sam flung the Cd into the trash can, "Because-"

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" she screamed. "I AM MRS. MONTY, THE 57TH MOST IMPORTANT SPOKESWOMAN IN WISCONSIN!"

"Mrs. Monty, I don't approve of that music," Sam said. "Therefore I cannot sell it too you."

"That's ridiculous!" Mrs. Monty screamed again. "My son wants the Jonas Brothers-"

"No I don't," he said.

"DON'T ARGUE WITH ME!" Mrs. Monty shouted. "My son wants the Jonas Brothers so he's getting it!"

"THE JONAS BROTHERS SUCK!" Sam yelled.

"Let me buy the Jonas Brothers!!" Mrs. Monty screamed. "LET ME BUY IT!!"

Sam grabbed the microphone, "There's a crazy lady at the register, I repeat, crazy lady at the register."

Two buff men lifted Mrs. Monty up by the arms and carried her out of the room. Mrs. Monty left screaming, "HE WANTS THE JONAS BROTHERS!! HE WANTS IT!!"

Mrs. Monty's son clinked twice and said, "She's crazy."

"Yeah I can tell," Sam said.


	3. Advice columnist

Sam Gets A Job series

3-Advie column in the community paper

Dear Sam,

I like this guy, but he's so oblivious to the fact. What should I do?

From, TotallyConfused

Dear TotallyConfused,

If he's so oblivious I say he's too stupid to be with you.

Sam

Dear Sam,

Don't call my crush stupid! Plus, you're supposed to be giving advice!

From, TotallyConfused

Dear TotallyConfused,

Seriously, really? You took time out of your life just to state the obvious? You're just wasting the column now. Hope you're happy!

Sam

Dear Sam,

Today I was taking a crap when my freaky stalker came in. What should I do?

Sincerly, Crapper

Dear Crapper,

Dude, I'm not even going to try to picture that. I could just say kill him and hide the evidence.

Sam

Dear Sam,

I'm hungry.

From, Donuts

HOLY HELL I QUIT!!

-Sam

**xD Sorry, it's a short chapter. I'm totally open to job suggestions! :) -Ally**


End file.
